Today marks my return to writing. Not for a living, but for life. Let this blog be my "midlife calm". I am finally coming to terms with who I am, who I want to be, my values and priorities, and shedding external expectations - from society at large, from my family of origin, and from the internalized tidbits I've accumulated over the course of four decades of circling the sun.
In the past, I have had my religious faith define who I am. I have since deconstructed and deconverted from all organized religion, and have happily settled on the path of spiritual and philosophical Daoism.
In the past, I have had my pursuit of parenthood, and later home education, define who I am. While I continue to embrace my role as mother and lead educator of my two children, I also know that if I do my job well, I will soon be transitioning from teacher to facilitator, and from parent to mentor and friend. I need to put my own proverbial oxygen mask on now, in order to best assist my children in putting on theirs. So we can all properly breathe in calm, and breathe out stress.
In the past, I have also strongly identified with secular feminism. Without exaggeration, it was a form of religion for me. I would like to revisit some of the concerns that I abandoned when shifting focus into my religion and parenting, but with a more nuanced approach, and through the Daoist lens.
Specifically along the lines of Daoism, I want to explore embracing myself, my life, my circumstances, and my limitations without seeking to control and change things. I want to explore a daily appreciation for beauty that surrounds me, in nature, music, poetry, art, film, and relationships. I want to explore the value of both feminine and masculine principles that make up the balance of Dao.
Environmental stewardship and a critique of patriarchy's influences on both religion and secular society (and by extension, economy) is one (are two?) area(s) of interest.
All things science are becoming accessible to me for the first time through my learning alongside my children. In particular, the use of technology, AI specifically, and futuristic science fiction are intriguing.
Finally, I've recently come to the world of twice exceptionality via some parenting challenges that have led me to pursuing an evaluation of my children and a self-identification of myself. Having previously been clinically diagnosed with level 1 autism spectrum disorder, this time I do not feel the need for external validation of my resonating with ADHD traits, or more specifically AuDHD traits and experiences, and furthermore, the twice exceptionality that comes with these developmental neurodivergences and giftedness.
I'm here to process my thoughts to gain a better understanding of how I feel and what I want to do moving forward.
